February is Dying

February 28, 2009 -- Santa Monica, CA. The world is in shock, as doctors say February is dying and she's in her final hours. "Today is her last day, unfortunately. We don't see her lasting any longer than that," said Dr. Morganstein.

As news of February's imminent death spread across the globe, mourners around the world began gathering to pay their final respects to the beloved month. "Words cannot express my sorrow. I don't understand why she has to go so soon," said Bill Buckley. Another mourner shared a similar view. "It seems like it was just a few weeks ago when we got to know her. I can't believe I'll wake up tomorrow and she'll be gone. Life is short and sometimes very cruel. I feel like my heart has been ripped out."

February's priest addressed mourners and asked them to remember the blessings her life brought all of us. "February will soon be in God's hands, and her passing should remind all of us to live life to its fullest, to love unconditionally, and live by the golden rule. And remember the good times you spent with February. She brought us Valentine's Day, the Steelers' Super Bowl victory, the Grilled Cheese Festival, the Grammys, and some awesome new iPhone apps. She'd like you to remember her with love and carry on her spirit in your own life."

The reporters here at Thank God For the Internet Blog send our deepest condolences to February's family and friends.