Poll: Obama More Popular Than Jesus, Superman Pissed

February 20, 2009 -- Santa Monica, CA. A new Harris Poll shows that Barack Obama tops Jesus on the list of people who Americans say they admire enough to call a hero. Rounding out the top 5 are Martin Luther King, Ronald Reagan, and George W. Bush. Other notables are Mother Teresa coming in 10th and Oprah Winfrey at 20th. God didn't even crack the top 10, as he (or she, according to some) placed 11th.

While many think Obama topping Jesus is shocking enough, there's more controversy brewing, including claims by Superman fans that the poll was rigged. The President of the Justice League fan club said, "This is complete crap! Obama is a great man, yes, but he can't fly, leap buildings, doesn't have x-ray vision, superhuman strength, or any of the other powers of Superman. This really does stink of corruption. And not only is Superman not on this list, neither are Batman, Wonder Woman or any of the other real heroes."

In a very rare public comment, the usually humble Superman said, "Yeah, I'm pissed about this. I like Barack a lot, I even voted for him. But when that phone rings at 3 a.m. and there's an asteroid heading towards earth or an alien army about to invade, who's going to get the call to save the world? Barack may get a call from other world leaders or the military, but who do you think he's going to call to get the job done? Me. I should be #1 on that list." Calls to the White House and Harris Interactive for comment on this story have not been returned as of press time.

The reporters here at www.thankgodfortheinternet.blogspot.com/ will continue following this story and we'll update you when news breaks.