The Economy Hits American Idol: 9 More Layoffs

February 19, 2009 -- Santa Monica, CA. America's recession may have no survivors, as evident by last night's shocking episode of American Idol. As the nation watched, television's #1 show laid off nine more contestants. "Everyone has been talking about how bad the economy is, but it really hits home when American Idol is letting people go," said a teary-eyed fan of the show, Erica Bry.

Another fan who stood in line for two days to get into last night's show, Matt Carlberg, offered an eye-witness account of what transpired. "I can't believe this. One minute I'm sitting there and there were 12 singers on stage. Before I knew what hit me, nine people were let go and only three remained. Those bastards laid off 75% of their people last night. How can our government let them get away with this? And how can the people in the audience, the judges, and even Ryan sit there idle like it's no big deal. I'll never watch that heartless show again."

The unfortunate contestants who were given pink-slips last night appeared to be taking things in stride. Some were even seen dancing and singing. Producers of the show have refused to comment on last night's layoffs, but inside sources say there are more coming next week. The reporters here at www.thankgodfortheinternet.blogspot.com/ will continue investigating this story and we'll update you when news breaks.