Snuggie Lawsuit:
Undie-Grab or Comfy Blanket?

March 9, 2009 -- Santa Monica, CA. Is it a painful underwear grab only nerds know too well, or a best-selling, comfy, perfect-for-any occasion body blanket? It was only a matter time before this question hit the courts, according to most legal experts.

The Fosdick Corporation, marketers of the wildly popular body-length blanket with sleeves known as the "Snuggie," is being sued by a gentleman who claims to be the rightful owner of the term. The plaintiff, Brock Michaels, a former high school jock, claims to have invented the term "snuggie" back in 1977 while he was a junior in high school.

According to Michaels' lawyers, Brock came up with the term when he and his friends were harassing some drama club geeks in the locker-room. "One of Michaels' cohorts grabbed a nerd by the back of his underwear and yanked it up with all his might. As the victim screamed in agony, it was Brock who then yelled out 'snuggie!'" Sources close to Michaels say it was at that moment when he knew he was onto something big. Michaels then began doling out snuggies to every nerd and weakling he crossed paths with.

In a recent interview with Get Beefy, Michaels was asked about the lawsuit and he said, "By the spring semester of '78, the snuggie craze had gone national. It was big-time, dude. If you were a nerd, you were fearful of the snuggie. If you were a jock who pumped iron, you couldn't wait to find your next victim." He went on to say, "Sure, it's been 30-years, but I'll be dammed if I'm going to let some blanket geeks steal my word. I'll bet those losers at Fosdick were probably on the receiving end of some vicious snuggies, and this is some sort of twisted revenge."

Michaels is seeking damages in the millions, but his lawyers are having a hard time finding impartial jurors. "We're not sure we can get a fair trial at this stage. We've yet to find one person who doesn't have Snuggie fever." When asked to comment on the suit and if they received snuggies in high school, the executives at Fosdick declined.

The reporters here at Thank God For the Internet Blog will continue investigating this story and we'll provide updates when news breaks.

Snuggie Star Has No One to Snuggle With

February 18, 2009 -- Santa Monica, CA. On the heels of Valentine's Day 2009 comes shocking and sad news from the entertainment world. Many don't know her by her real name, Jane DeNoble, but millions of Americans know her as the Snuggie babe. Jane DeNoble is that very attractive, spunky actress that brings the Snuggie to life in the infomercial everyone loves to hate.

The loveable Jane has quite the resume, which boasts numerous film, TV, and theater credits. And her acting talents have tuned the Snuggie into a cultural phenomenon. But it's what's not on her bio that is causing heartache across the nation. Jane DeNoble appears to be single. "How could this be? America's Snuggie star doesn't have anyone to snuggle with under a Snuggie? This just stinks! During such tumultuous times, we look to America's stars for hope. If Jane DeNoble can't land a man or woman, I'm afraid the economy and war may be the least of our worries," said Frannie the Granny, Senior Editor for All That Doesn't Matter magazine.

"When I see her vibrant smile and phenomenal acting in those Snuggie spots, even I want to snuggle with her. Who wouldn't want to snuggle with Jane? I'm saddened and perplexed as to why she, of all people, would be single. It will be America's next great tragedy if she's left cold and alone at night? I know there are many rumors out there, like the Snuggie people have brainwashed her and are hiding her in a basement, or that there is the possibility Jane has a man or even a family in hiding and maybe she just doesn't want to mention that on her bio, but I'll leave that stuff for the rumor mongers," said a well-known Hollywood talent agent who wishes to remain annonymous.

The reporters here at www.thankgodfortheinternet.blogspot.com/ will continue investigating this shocking news and we'll update you when news breaks. In the mean time, when you curl-up under your Snuggie this evening, we ask that you say a prayer for Jane and ask God to undo this injustice.