California Cancels Daylight Savings, Adds Sun Tax

March 6, 2009 -- Santa Monica, CA. Citing budget constraints, the state of California is saying adios to Daylight Savings time this year. "We just can't afford it," said Governor Schwarzenegger. "But we don't want to force citizens to change their lives. Those who wish to celebrate can still do so, but they'll be taxed on their extra usage of the sun. It's the only way to make it work."

Optional celebration of Daylight Savings is a first for the United States, and it's being heralded as a shrewd budget move by other Governors. "Arnold is on to something here," said an unknown Governor of a southern state. "If we apply a sun usage-tax nationally, we could probably eliminate the deficit. And if you think about it, the sun is energy; it shouldn't be free." Another Governor agreed and said, "We have to buy gas for our cars, and pay monthly bills to heat our homes. We should be paying for the sun's heat and energy, too. This is a business opportunity that might also help save the planet."

A concerned citizen doesn't see it the same way. "California is broke, thanks to an inept legislature. I understand Arnold is just trying to solve problems and help the state, but canceling Daylight Savings and taxing others who want to honor the tradition feels very un-American. I'm going to set my clock forward this weekend and I dare those bastards to try and tax me for it."

The reporters here at Thank God For the Internet Blog will continue investigating this story and provide updates when news breaks.